by Sherry on September 7, 2011
If you were to examine the things that you say and do in your life and were to think about them in terms of a novel, what story are you telling?
Is your story a mystery? Do you say things like “I don’t know what to do next?” “What in the world are they talking about?” “I have no direction.” “I have so many things to do I don’t know where to start.” When you talk about your past are the words you choose: “I don’t know why they did that?” “Why do things like that always happen to me?” Does there seem to be more questions than answers?
Is it an adventure, using words like, “I can’t wait to see what will happen?” “I am right in the middle of a leap of faith.” “It was a challenging experience and yet I learned so much.” “I don’t know what it is going to look like, but here I go.” Do you embrace change and look forward with anticipation to what lies ahead?
Perhaps your story is a thriller. More often than not you find yourself anxious and scared saying things like “I am sure it will not turn out well.” Why can’t things just stay the way they are?” “I know they are all against me.” “No good deed goes unpunished.” Do you find yourself frequently waiting for the other shoe to drop or the boogie man to jump out?
When we talk we paint a picture not only to others but to ourselves and in our words we tell our story of not only what has happened but in a large part about where we are going. Think about what you say. Is your story one that would inspire or depress? Are you the heroine / hero or are you the victim? Is it a story of facing obstacles or over coming them? If you are not telling the story you want. Start a new novel .
Coaching can assist you in writing the story you want. Call me for a free phone consultation to see if coaching is a fit for you.
When you think about a balanced life, what comes to mind? It may surprise you to know that the answer to this question is very different for everyone. Most people think an equal amount of time for work and play, others the ability to spend more quality time with their family. For some it may mean eliminating the stress and drama in their life or being a more spiritually-centered person. I have heard clients say that having enough money to travel or retire would bring balance to their life. As a coach, I have heard many, many definitions over the past 12 years and each one is correct for each individual. Although there is one thing, one thread which is the same for each and every person and that is achieving a balanced life requires clarity about those things that are most important to you and prioritizing them in order to give them the time and attention they deserve. What do you value in your life?
If you want more balance in your life the first step is to determine what your governing values are. You must determine your highest priorities. Prioritizing does not mean that you believe one value is more important than another. It is simply a way to give structure so that you can focus on the most compelling values first. Is your top priority spending time with your family? Then your governing value would simply be family. Do you see consistently turning in quality work as a priority? Your value, in this case, might be professionalism. Do you strive to have enough money to provide a secure financial future for your family? Your value might be prosperity.
Just as in the examples above, make a list of your top ten priorities and then connect those to a value. Now take a look at your top 10 list and ask yourself, do the things I do on a daily basis reflect my values listed? Next, ask the people in your life, based on your actions, what would they list as your priorities and values? Would their list match yours?